Welcome to my first ever project journal entry.
I decided to document my journey into the uncharted waters of beard oil collecting, for your edification and possibly amusement.
The fact of the matter is, I have set myself a goal:
To gather every single beard oil available on the planet Earth.
Let’s do a really quick, rough order of magnitude, finger in the air guess as to how many beard oils there are on this planet.
US Amazon, 10,000 results
US Etsy, 7,500 results
If we assume each seller has ten products, that gives us an approximate total of 1,750 beard oil sellers on US centric Amazon and Etsy alone.
This doesn’t take into account producers who don’t use those affiliate programs. There will be lots of those.
How about the world of small beard oil artisans from eastern Europe?
I haven’t even looked into Japanese beard oil yet !
What about the oils of the Caribbean ?!
Clearly, it is too soon to come up with a scientific calculation with any rational basis, but my best guess is that there are at least 5000 commercially available beard oils on this planet, right now.
Is beard oil really just all pretty much the same, or are there genuinely incredible recipes existing in the world that can change the very nature of a man’s beard?
Is it all just the same as smearing a bit of olive oil on your chops, or do some oils genuinely have special therapeutic values ?
I will make it my life’s work to identify the world’s best beard oil.
However, we must ask ourselves if there truly is a king among all beard oils out there.
Does there truly exist one master beard oil to bind them all?
Will this treasure be found in the labs of a large producer with decades of commercial experience?
Or will it be found secreted away in the foothills of the Himalayas in a small family run Indian apothecary using a secret recipe handed down over countless generations?
I don’t know the answer to this question, but on behalf of the bearded men of the planet Earth, I vow to find out.
Bobert Brush is a man of his word and I will never give up on this mission. I will fight with consistency to the end of my days to explore to the four corners of our Earth, to gather, curate and grade the rarest and most exotic beard oils in existence.
I will carefully bring these treasured specimens back to safety and present them to you on my website. This is my gift to the world.
I will need to start developing rigorous and robust procedures and methods in order to successfully manage this project.
As per the Project Charter, I will not allow commercial influences to taint the transparency of the review process. The bearded man deserves intellectual honesty.
I will need to work long and hard and with great vigor to complete this experiment.
I will return to my journal in a month’s time to document progress.
Signed this 28th day of March in the year 2016