This specimen has been acquired from the shores of a land named England, from the county of Kent.
From amougst these wild lands has risen the Audacious Beard Co, a family business run by artists Jezz and Sam.
These wily artisans are actually members of the Guild of Craft Soap and Toiletary Makers. Bobert Brush is impressed. Methinks there is nothing that captures the stoic essence of beardsmanship more than legitimate guild membership. In fact, I really should get around to forming a Guild of Professional Global Beard Oil Collectors. Only thing is I would be the only member.
I was itching to crack open this bottle of sauce. I am true believer in the masculine qualities of a ‘pirate’ scented beard oil. Read on to see how this specimen fared the trials of my complex and extremely rigorous beard oil review process.
This is a really subtle and pleasant oil. The intensity of the lingering is fairly mild, but the duration of the lingering is extended.
There is no continual aromatic onslaught, but rather a rhythmic pulsation of releases throughout the day. I buried my girlfriend in my beard 3 hours after applying the oil and she reported to me that there was a “really nice smell that complements your natural smell”.
When testing emanation with the emanation meter (and after a double salt water nostril cleanse), this specimen performed relatively well. We recorded an above benchmark reading of 1 foot 2 inches.
An impressive performance for such a subtle aroma.
70% Above Average
Note: I am reviewing 2 of The Audacious Beard Co.’s range here. The Woodsman and The Buccaneer. Emotional Response is the only criteria that is graded individually between the products.
There is a pleasant sense of mandarin wafting out of the bottle, upon opening. This however is very mild incomparable to the actual experience that is incurred through application of the oil to the whiskers.
I was transported away to an ancient Spain, wearing a golden rimmed cocked hat and brandishing a cutlass. I was holding hostage 15 hardy wenches, all bound and tied to my centre mast, surrounded by sack after sack of beautiful, plump, ripe seville oranges – freshly pillaged from God only knows where. Whilst the helpless wenches look on, consumed with desire, I continually bounce from toe to toe in a dance of bearded pirate fury, imbued with the undefeatable strength of ten bears.
This effect lasted for around 15 seconds, before I was returned to baseline, left only with subtle tones of tea tree, mandarin and bay leaf.
An epic journey!
95% Mind blowing!
The Audacious Beard Co. has created much more than simply a classic cedarwood beard oil with this recipe. The subtle tones of bergamot, cardamon and patchouli add sweet and floral notes to the ‘woody’ character of the cedar essential oil. Imagine having a miniature forest germinating in your beard, along with all its wonderful smells!
This blend has an almost magical ability to interact and fuse with the aromatic elements of the world around you in a sublimely subtle way.
I went for a walk to take the photo at the top of this review and stopped to smear a little extra oil on my chops, so I could appreciate and analyse the aroma. I must have looked like a grinning, bearded lunatic, as this rustic sauce bought a maniacal grin of joy to my jaws!
This is a scent for the man that whisks his lady off her feet, throws her over his shoulder and carries her off into the sunset.
A beard oil for a man to ponder life’s mysteries, whilst whimsically scowling into the horizon.
Top of the range.
I can’t make any complaints in the greasiness stakes with this beard oil. The fact of the matter is Grapeseed based products are notorious in the beard oil industry for their non-greasy properties. My beard is left with increased density and lustrousness, yet with a sense of complete “dryness” soon after the oil is absorbed.
The Buccaneer also made light work of the formal test. It decimated the 21cm substrate in a mere 20 seconds!
Density is the key word as far as The Buccaneer is concerned.
Perhaps it is the essence of plaid shirts that the team add to this blend, or perhaps it isn’t. But whatever the cause, my beard seems to be epicly dense after just 2 applications of this oil. The beard hair looks nicely lustrous and easily manageable.
This specimen also made light work of the formal test – the indentations were so slight that I had to angle the chin-shaped blu-tac mould upto the sun just to see them!
I applied this product to the skin around the beard and monitored the ‘sink time’. There were no major delays and everything was absorbed within a minute, with no significant residue left behind on the skin.
Skin was left feeling appropriately moisturized, with the normal benefits one would expect from a grapeseed based product.
A 30ml bottle of this oil will set you back 13.95 UKP, with postage being £1.75 in the UK, £3.95 in EU and £8.20 rest of world.
This equates to a cost per ml of £0.46.
Based on my analysis of 57 specimens, the average market price per ml of beard oil produced in the UK is £0.41 per ml
So, just a tadge over the average, at the current selling price. However, The Audacious Beard Co do have regular special offers posted on their Facebook page, often to the tune of 20% off.
Therefore, I will award based on the median price point between the current selling price and the regular special offer price.
65% Fair market value
So, overall, based on the weighted factoring of all criteria, The Buccaneer Beard Oil by The Audacious Beard Co. scores an incredible:
A citrus-imbued pirate extravaganza that does everything a beard oil should do. Strongly recommended.