I’ve had a shocking realisation over the last month: not all oils are created equal.
As a professional beard oil collector, it’s too easy to look at two beard oils and think:
“these are both based on grapeseed oil – therefore they must be substantially the same”.
The difference between two grapeseed oils can be as night and day.
Think about the vast number of ‘olive oils’ you see on the supermarket shelf. Hundreds of subtly different shades, some golden, others light, some almost green. With the taste, some mild yet others strong and peppery.
The same principal applies to the ingredients in your beard oil!
A 50 ton pile of rotten grapes left to fester next to a building site, seeds stripped out by a rusty thrasher and then extracted by chemical solvents will produce a incomparable result to 50kg pile of grapes freshly hand-plucked from the vine by a passionate farmer, seeds extracted by his busty wife and then diligently cold pressed by a team of doey-eyed virgins.
Such are the thoughts that occurred to Bobert Brush when he found out that today’s specimen – known as the Original Beard Oil from the The Bearded Chap – has been through 32 different recipe variations to arrive at its current state.
It uses actual top-quality Australian sandalwood oil that costs $300 per ml and is extracted only from sandalwood trees that have been allowed to mature for 90 years!
The Bearded Chap is the founding father of Australian beard oil, with the aptly named Original beard oil being created in 2013 before the beard oil boom where every man and his dog jumped on the bandwagon.
Let’s take this exciting specimen through the review process and see how it performs!
Since the crew at The Bearded Chap have been in the game for a while, it appears they’ve cracked the secret of creating a decent lingerer, which I assume is the inclusion of a decent amount of good quality essential oils.
I got well detectable lingerability for a solid hour with this oil.
Compared to the benchmark of 30 minutes, this is an excellent performance.
Sometimes a man wants to show off his beard. Sometimes he wants to simply state “Hey look, I’m sexy as hell and my beard smells F^%KING awesome”.
When he wants to make such a statement, a gentleman should select a beard oil with a high emanation rating.
This specimen delivers, with a 1.4 foot emenance – as measured in my formal test with the emenation metre.
89% Just right.
I am in love with this scent.
You get deep, joyful and manly scents of wood. Cedar, fir and sandalwood combine together to literally create a forest in your beard.
A forest which is perfectly offset by the sweet, spicy combination of lime & black pepper.
The quality of the essential oils is second to none. Your nostrils can pick out every individual scent – down to the individual trees in the bearded forest that is delivers.
As I ruminated on the incredible depth, I began to smell the rabbits, bears, squirrels and even busty maidens frolicking in my beard. I rapidly felled some trees and erected myself a log cabin with the resultant lumber in the blink of an eye. Such was my peppery, citrus aromatic undertone that I rested outside my new abode, leaning on my axe and inviting every passing young lady into my house to help me oil my tools.
Should you be surprised that I have awarded this specimen the highest ever Aroma grading, given it’s been through 32 recipe variations to reach perfection ?
96% – Simply Wonderful
The Original Beard Oil has a really cool “shake out” applicator that works better than most (yes, a professional beard oil collector such as myself pays close attention and measures these things).
This prevented me from conducting the formal greasiness race down the 21cm glass substrate, so I am going purely on anecdotal evidence.
Simply put, no issues with greasiness here.
90% for greasiness. No problems.
Frankly, I’m impressed.
This Original Beard Oil is scoring well all-around in the metrics of Aroma and Therapy.
The hair is nourished and my beard looks healthy and lustrous – without doubt.
I strongly suspect this is due to the wily inclusion of rosehip oil into the recipe. This cunning component is oft-neglected from otherwise decent beard oil recipes. This stuff was made into a syrup and rationed in Britain during wartime to ensure children’s resistance to infection!
That is some therapeutic goodness for your beard right there!
91% for hair impact – Really good
Likewise, the skin under and around my facial hair was improved upon and seemed a little softer.
I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this specimen as an all-over face oil, but it certainly gets in there and does it job of nourishing the skin underneath the hair.
89% for skin impact. Effective.
A huge 90ml bottle of Bearded Chap’s Original Beard Oil will cost you $89.95 (AUD) with free P&P within Australia. International postage is available and priced at checkout.
This equates to $1.00 per ml.
(Note: The Bearded Chap also offer their product in a 30ml size for $39.95 – which works out a little more expensive. However, when calculating Value, I always use the vendor’s largest product size).
My complete analysis of the Australian beard oil industry tells us the average market price of beard oil in Australia is precisely $1.11 per ml.
Therefore the Original Beard Oil is priced just under the market average – being in the lower 33rd percentile of the market. This gives it a base value score of 66%.
However, when calculating the Value score, I also award adjustments to reflect elements of value that cannot be determined by price per ml alone. I will adjust 5% to account for the fact that this specimen has 5 carrier oils, versus the industry average of 4 and 6 essential oils versus the industry average of 4.
I will also adjust an additional 9% for the inclusion of rosehip oil, which is a comparatively rare, somewhat hard to come by and certainly expensive (being about 15 times more expensive that sweet almond oil) ingredient.
Therefore, I award the Original Beard Oil:
80% for Value. Decent.
So, overall, based on the weighted factoring of all criteria, the Original Beard Oil by The Bearded Chap scores an awesome:
92% – With “Golden Thumbs Up”
A record-breaking woodsy aroma with excellent nourishing properties and good value too! A real winner.